Manifest Life

Ever felt a need to blog? I am feeling compelled to blog at this time. I need to get my thoughts down on paper is the old saying but of course blogging has little to do with paper nowadays.

This was written last year in July. And I didn’t finish it so now I get to see if from the future that has already occurred. Here is what I wrote then -

Still. Delays, more money, more debt. A bright future. Wondering will it ever be done. Illnesses in the family. Concerns.

A new career. Can I do it? Will I have all the help I need? I don’t even have all the equipment for it.

How will we manage?

Last night I did a bit of an assessment of the situation. I got all of the “what we owe” down on paper. And realized that we are going to be fine. But there is a month or two that it will be a little tight.

People may have to wait to be paid. I guess they are used to it in this area of life. I never understood it. But now I do. They are happy to do the work for you. Even if you don’t have the money, because they know that I will pay them and to them it must be like money in the bank.

I put this post on the back burner. And never posted it. I am through most of it now and I was correct in my calculations that we will be fine. We have been, are and always will be fine.

A baby is on the way. Outside work is being done this week. Costing more money, but it is all there. I never really thought is would be, and I guess I didn’t think it wouldn’t be either. I think I believe that I shouldn’t really know I will be OK. I should think like the masses and worry about it. And one day I noticed something. That the majority of the time. I am not going in the direction of everyone else. I am driving by a huge line-up of people going the other way.

And so is life. I just can’t imagine going to school, to be trained, to do the same thing everyday. To be in the same place. To be with the same people. And to be quite sure that I would be there for at least 10 to 15 years.

I know other people do it all the time. And possibly if I found something that totally lit me up I would be willing to do it. I am willing to do a lot. I have been to a huge conference on my own dime for 4 years. Assisting in putting on a conference that we were at work on all year. And not getting paid for it. So I know that about myself. Totally capable and willing to go the extra mile, when the value is there for me.

How many other people take a minute or two, to really think about their future. The way that is will inevitably go and the way they actually want it to go.

I am in the inquiry of it now. In 5 years what will I be doing? I had a plan. And then it turned out the way it did. Not quite following the plan. So will it continue to go that way? How does one interrupt the inevitable?

Wait and see.

Dar
August 18, 2010

I love the Rebecca Fine’s http://www.scienceofgettingrich.net/ and her entire way of promoting her site. The way she creates community and a way for everyone to share their stories and ideas with each other.

One of the things that she talks about is having a Clear Mental Image. So the last two days I have been taking time to develop and design a clear mental image of our yard.

And now I need to find someone who can make concrete furniture.

Love it!

‘’It is interesting for me to listen to the conversation in my head. You know the one. We all have it. ”

“Is this going to work?” “Can I accomplish this?” or “Do I have what it takes to get the job done?” “Will they let me?” “Should they let me?” “Can I handle the responsibility?” “Is it a good idea?” And so much more.

Our house isn’t finished. Our Line-of-Credit is getting to the end. I can see resignation setting in. “It is never going to be finished.” “I screwed up and now I won’t get what I want.” Those types of thoughts come creeping into my head. And then I remember a book my first husband, Jason Gilbert had on his shelf. I never read the book but I remember the Title, “You can’t afford the luxury of a negative thought”
You Can’t Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought: A Book for People with Any Life-Threatening Illness — Including Life [Paperback]
John-Roger (Author), PeterMcWilliams (Author)

I am thinking I may just read this book now. Funny how things happen at the right time for the right reasons.

After remembering the Title and remembering what I got from the Landmark Forum I just said to myself, “It’s all about Enrollment.” You see I have a new Bank Accounts Manager who doesn’t know my story yet. And I always have the fear that I won’t be able to share it right this time. Or something like that. And I remembered,”it’s all about enrollment.”

And I called and made the appointment. Now is the perfect time to go to the Bank (in this case it is Island Savings Credit Union) Our income is in great shape. All of our credit scores are explainable. Mine are good but getting to the top of any available credit, lowers your score. And my husband, Dave had a problem with his student loan that affected his credit score and he is rebuilding his now.

So we got approved based on our income and the next thing the bank wants is collateral. And then I have to deal with myself and my own thoughts again. “I don’t want the bank owning my house.” But then again the alternative was to totally own the house that was falling apart. So that choice wasn’t that hard to make. And I justify the money I borrowed by saying to myself,”Lots of people have mortgages the same as mine and are living in a much smaller house. And we arranged to have an appraiser come and give us an appraisal and then we will be able to borrow 80% of the Market Value. At MoneyMinding, Tracy Piercy says to get as much available credit as possible. You never know when an opportunity will come your way or you may need it. It is always harder to get money when you really need it, it seems. Even though I have negative thoughts about it because of all I have heard in my lifetime. “To much credit is just a noose to hang yourself with.” And thoughts such as this.

I often find ways to reframe what I think so that it isn’t a negative thought. It is almost always easy to see the best part of an opportunity.

If you want a refresher on how and why you can make your money work for you. Go to www.moneyminding.com and read some inspiring news.

Today was close to 33 degrees. That is pretty hot. And yet I got a whole lot done.

I needed to fast for a few blood tests. And I dreamt all night long that I accidently kept putting food in my mouth so I wouldn’t be able to take the test. I even had the experience of food in my mouth. It was very weird.

Anyway, I got to the lab without having eaten anything. I tried to stay in bed until I had to leave and I passed on feeding the baby to my helpers so I wouldn’t inadvertently eat some baby food or baby biscuits as I have been known to do.

Then I took my Dad to his doctor appointment and we went to the Dutch bakery. And I saw two people that I knew. One that I recognized and the other was the father of my brothers old girlfriend. My brother has been dead for 21 years. And this man’s granddaughter is 21 years old. I do believe that she is my brothers child. But the rest of the family doesn’t share my belief.

So lucky me, I am going to call him and get her number and maybe we can reconnect. She is the only real 1st cousin my kids have and they have met her before. I have the pictures and they got along great. It will be neat to see them together again.

I don’t need to share the long list of accomplishments but it is enough to say that I was more productive today than I have been in a long while.

Note to self: Connect back with Dad’s receptionist. She is due to have a baby and has a high mortgage rate. I told her about the Money Merge Account. Would be good to do some follow up. Not a strong point for me yet but one I would like to improve on.

Dar
July 2010

Thank goodness for little nudges sometimes.  We actually got a lot accomplished and I have a glimmer of HOPE.  I think it is funny how I always think that things will never work out.  Well I can’t even say that “I” think that.  But it is thought.  And when improvement is seen I am both surprised and relieved.

The storage shed got opened and we went through most everything that was in it  I even found my Tom & Gerry figurines.  (Michelle Davis gave them to me on my 12th Birthday)

I love how quirky I am.  Attaching meaning and significance to dolls and toys.  I hope I never grow up.  I suppose at times the grown up thing is required.  And I can rise to the occasion.  And thankfully it isn’t required all that often.

So goes another day,

Dar

Well the shelves are up. Most of them anyway. We even have fabulous countertops in the laundry room. I have a laundry room!!!

Bylaw Enforcement Officer was here today. He was super nice. Someone in the neighbourhood complained about unsightly building materials all over my yard. There are two bins on the lawn and a small pile of wood under the tree. So he took pictures and will send me recommendations.

I am quite upset. Didn’t think I would be. I am pretty sure who it is that complained. And they are going to sell their house so probably want the neighbourhood to look nice so they get more for their house. We do live behind a jail and that brings the price down. Good if you are buying. Not so good if you are selling. But if it isn’t her then someone who is nice to my face is complaining about me behind my back.

Argg. I don’t like it.

And I have been waiting for 3 months for my heat pump to get installed and then we were to get reassessed for the Energy Rebates and we missed the deadline by 3 days. I still have the reassessment date booked but everyone I talked to said they will deny it.

So I feel like an idiot that I didn’t know the date and have it in my daytimer. I was leaving it up to someone else to manage. Is this another expensive lesson for me to learn that I have to rely on myself?

I hope not. I would love to be taken care of so that I could just relax and enjoy life. Owning a business is not what it’s cracked up to be. Sure we have flexibility in when we work. But not really. When someone is sick we have to work anyway or get one of us to work double shifts. And we haven’t had a nice holiday around Christmas for 5 years. Because Christmas is our busiest time of year.

And the good things are that my husband has the taxes complete ahead of the deadline this year. (way to go Dave!)

And we have two lovely and challenging foster children living with us.

Sienna is graduating this month.

I am in a Seminar with Sienna, An Invented Life: My Life My Design
So we get to spend Monday nights and Thursday nights together. And she gets to use the seminar to create her future. Me too.
I am using the seminar to create my future.

And next time I write it will be my wish list. Kind of like my bucket list with sparkles.
I found myself incredibly busy with the two kids and have not written anything in my blog.

I also noticed that because my life wasn’t the shining example I wanted it to be I didn’t want to share.
And here I am sharing anyway.

We are having a birthday party/housewarming on July 3rd which is a Saturday. It will be a potluck extravaganza. We are having a magician. And possibly two very talented lady singers. If they are available.

And the yard should be getting there. And looking fabulous. Maybe a deck for Sienna’s bedroom? Some fences for privacy.

Till next time.
Dar Archibald
June 8th, 2010

So I got what I wanted . . . almost. We renovated our home to be Foster Parents to infants withdrawing from drugs after being born. But then what we got were two lovely little toddlers. Well the house isn’t quite set up for that, but we managed. And now they are gone and a new little girl is here. Seems like I will never be in the “know”. Always having to find out for myself who these little people are and just what they are capable of.

I love the challenge. And this is what it feels like to accomplish an intended goal. Pretty cool. A few years ago I would have told you that it was just a dream to have a renovated home and little kids in my life. But somehow, using every skill I have acquired over the years and a great leap of faith, it has all occurred.

Now to get the house finished. We were a little short on money near the end so we haven’t gotten the shelves up yet. Do you know how important shelves are? Well if you don’t have them, the things in boxes tend to stay in boxes. The next time I write on here I hope it is to say that all the shelves are up.

Dar
March 2010

We went to pick up the mattresses and we got sheets and comforters too! Batman! So cool.
What I am present to as the year ends is how blessed we are. I am especially blessed because I have been taught so much.
With MoneyMinding, Landmark Education, Matrix Energetics, Geotran, La Leche League and so much more I find making decisions and choices are a lot easier than before. Not that difficulties still don’t arise but with knowledge they are much easier to face.

Wishing all of you a wonderful 2010!

We are going to pick up the mattresses right now. The perfect ones at the perfect time. Now what else is on my wish list? Dave cleared out two rooms and moved all the furniture. And Justy helped a little too.

Now we can be ready for our parties. Celebrations of our lives. What ever way they turn out is the goal for this year. Life is the way it is.

Who are you going to be in it this year?

Here we are at the end of 2009. My family members have had all sorts of health issues. We renovated our house. Someone broke into one of our cars in the driveway. And tried to break into another. The economy has done a dance that has had many scrambling for safety. All in all it has been quite an eventful year.

I am looking forward to 2010. With our home opening up to Foster Children and completing the last things that need to be worked on. Of course we could just do the Zen of Home Renovations. I actually like that idea.

Take our time.

This year I am going to figure out how to use VictoriaFreeCycle and offer all of our stuff that we don’t want but still think is useful to other people. It is a system that I see really works in the world I want to live in. Why not give your stuff to someone else who needs it and then ask the Universe for what you need and see what comes.

I asked for bunk beds and my friend found them and delivered them too. For Free!!!!

Now we just need some mattresses. But what I really want is to go to the Foam Store and see what kind of a deal they can give us for the mattresses. We need three. One for the crib and two for the bunk beds.

So many things to plan. And I am relishing my time to myself. When I can just get up and go, anytime I want.

The good thing about being a full on parent this time is I know how it goes. Kind of anyway. I have never had the kids we will get. But I do understand the rhythm of it all. I am also looking forward to focusing more on our home. Now that it is big enough for us. We can have a big garden and eventually we will fence it all so we can let the dogs run and the kids will be safe in the yard.

Oh, the next thing on my wish list is some big swings. Really big. Probably three of them. Two for adults or bigger kids and one for a baby. We love to swing. And those seats they put on swings now are hip crushing. So maybe we will get wooden flat ones. Oh it just gives me goose bumps thinking about it.

Well, looking back at 2009 our family did very well. We managed two moves and living kind of outdoors for the last three months. And we were in pretty good spirits. And we are very thankful for all we have now.

Here is to a great 2010. Blessings to all,
Dar Archibald
2009