Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Another Day in the Life . . .

Filed under: Life — August 18, 2010 @ 9:30 pm Edit This

Ever felt a need to blog? I am feeling compelled to blog at this time. I need to get my thoughts down on paper is the old saying but of course blogging has little to do with paper nowadays.

This was written last year in July. And I didn’t finish it so now I get to see if from the future that has already occurred. Here is what I wrote then -

Still. Delays, more money, more debt. A bright future. Wondering will it ever be done. Illnesses in the family. Concerns.

A new career. Can I do it? Will I have all the help I need? I don’t even have all the equipment for it.

How will we manage?

Last night I did a bit of an assessment of the situation. I got all of the “what we owe” down on paper. And realized that we are going to be fine. But there is a month or two that it will be a little tight.

People may have to wait to be paid. I guess they are used to it in this area of life. I never understood it. But now I do. They are happy to do the work for you. Even if you don’t have the money, because they know that I will pay them and to them it must be like money in the bank.

I put this post on the back burner. And never posted it. I am through most of it now and I was correct in my calculations that we will be fine. We have been, are and always will be fine.

A baby is on the way. Outside work is being done this week. Costing more money, but it is all there. I never really thought is would be, and I guess I didn’t think it wouldn’t be either. I think I believe that I shouldn’t really know I will be OK. I should think like the masses and worry about it. And one day I noticed something. That the majority of the time. I am not going in the direction of everyone else. I am driving by a huge line-up of people going the other way.

And so is life. I just can’t imagine going to school, to be trained, to do the same thing everyday. To be in the same place. To be with the same people. And to be quite sure that I would be there for at least 10 to 15 years.

I know other people do it all the time. And possibly if I found something that totally lit me up I would be willing to do it. I am willing to do a lot. I have been to a huge conference on my own dime for 4 years. Assisting in putting on a conference that we were at work on all year. And not getting paid for it. So I know that about myself. Totally capable and willing to go the extra mile, when the value is there for me.

How many other people take a minute or two, to really think about their future. The way that is will inevitably go and the way they actually want it to go.

I am in the inquiry of it now. In 5 years what will I be doing? I had a plan. And then it turned out the way it did. Not quite following the plan. So will it continue to go that way? How does one interrupt the inevitable?

Wait and see.

Dar
August 18, 2010

Quick Thought about a Clear Mental Image

Filed under: Life — August 18, 2010 @ 8:50 pm Edit This

I love the Rebecca Fine’s http://www.scienceofgettingrich.net/ and her entire way of promoting her site. The way she creates community and a way for everyone to share their stories and ideas with each other.

One of the things that she talks about is having a Clear Mental Image. So the last two days I have been taking time to develop and design a clear mental image of our yard.

And now I need to find someone who can make concrete furniture.

Love it!

July 15th, and things are on a roll.

Filed under: Life, Financially Brilliant Ideas — July 15, 2010 @ 8:10 am Edit This

‘’It is interesting for me to listen to the conversation in my head. You know the one. We all have it. ”

“Is this going to work?” “Can I accomplish this?” or “Do I have what it takes to get the job done?” “Will they let me?” “Should they let me?” “Can I handle the responsibility?” “Is it a good idea?” And so much more.

Our house isn’t finished. Our Line-of-Credit is getting to the end. I can see resignation setting in. “It is never going to be finished.” “I screwed up and now I won’t get what I want.” Those types of thoughts come creeping into my head. And then I remember a book my first husband, Jason Gilbert had on his shelf. I never read the book but I remember the Title, “You can’t afford the luxury of a negative thought”
You Can’t Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought: A Book for People with Any Life-Threatening Illness — Including Life [Paperback]
John-Roger (Author), PeterMcWilliams (Author)

I am thinking I may just read this book now. Funny how things happen at the right time for the right reasons.

After remembering the Title and remembering what I got from the Landmark Forum I just said to myself, “It’s all about Enrollment.” You see I have a new Bank Accounts Manager who doesn’t know my story yet. And I always have the fear that I won’t be able to share it right this time. Or something like that. And I remembered,”it’s all about enrollment.”

And I called and made the appointment. Now is the perfect time to go to the Bank (in this case it is Island Savings Credit Union) Our income is in great shape. All of our credit scores are explainable. Mine are good but getting to the top of any available credit, lowers your score. And my husband, Dave had a problem with his student loan that affected his credit score and he is rebuilding his now.

So we got approved based on our income and the next thing the bank wants is collateral. And then I have to deal with myself and my own thoughts again. “I don’t want the bank owning my house.” But then again the alternative was to totally own the house that was falling apart. So that choice wasn’t that hard to make. And I justify the money I borrowed by saying to myself,”Lots of people have mortgages the same as mine and are living in a much smaller house. And we arranged to have an appraiser come and give us an appraisal and then we will be able to borrow 80% of the Market Value. At MoneyMinding, Tracy Piercy says to get as much available credit as possible. You never know when an opportunity will come your way or you may need it. It is always harder to get money when you really need it, it seems. Even though I have negative thoughts about it because of all I have heard in my lifetime. “To much credit is just a noose to hang yourself with.” And thoughts such as this.

I often find ways to reframe what I think so that it isn’t a negative thought. It is almost always easy to see the best part of an opportunity.

If you want a refresher on how and why you can make your money work for you. Go to www.moneyminding.com and read some inspiring news.

Hot day and still many things accomplished. . .

Filed under: Life, Relationships — July 8, 2010 @ 9:57 pm Edit This

Today was close to 33 degrees. That is pretty hot. And yet I got a whole lot done.

I needed to fast for a few blood tests. And I dreamt all night long that I accidently kept putting food in my mouth so I wouldn’t be able to take the test. I even had the experience of food in my mouth. It was very weird.

Anyway, I got to the lab without having eaten anything. I tried to stay in bed until I had to leave and I passed on feeding the baby to my helpers so I wouldn’t inadvertently eat some baby food or baby biscuits as I have been known to do.

Then I took my Dad to his doctor appointment and we went to the Dutch bakery. And I saw two people that I knew. One that I recognized and the other was the father of my brothers old girlfriend. My brother has been dead for 21 years. And this man’s granddaughter is 21 years old. I do believe that she is my brothers child. But the rest of the family doesn’t share my belief.

So lucky me, I am going to call him and get her number and maybe we can reconnect. She is the only real 1st cousin my kids have and they have met her before. I have the pictures and they got along great. It will be neat to see them together again.

I don’t need to share the long list of accomplishments but it is enough to say that I was more productive today than I have been in a long while.

Note to self: Connect back with Dad’s receptionist. She is due to have a baby and has a high mortgage rate. I told her about the Money Merge Account. Would be good to do some follow up. Not a strong point for me yet but one I would like to improve on.

Dar
July 2010

Just when you think it will never change . . . things move.

Filed under: Life — June 13, 2010 @ 10:56 pm Edit This

Thank goodness for little nudges sometimes. We actually got a lot accomplished and I have a glimmer of HOPE. I think it is funny how I always think that things will never work out. Well I can’t even say that “I” think that. But it is thought. And when improvement is seen I am both surprised and relieved.

The storage shed got opened and we went through most everything that was in it I even found my Tom & Gerry figurines. (Michelle Davis gave them to me on my 12th Birthday)

I love how quirky I am. Attaching meaning and significance to dolls and toys. I hope I never grow up. I suppose at times the grown up thing is required. And I can rise to the occasion. And thankfully it isn’t required all that often.

So goes another day,

Dar

A few bumps in the road.

Filed under: Life — June 7, 2010 @ 11:29 pm Edit This

Well the shelves are up. Most of them anyway. We even have fabulous countertops in the laundry room. I have a laundry room!!!

Bylaw Enforcement Officer was here today. He was super nice. Someone in the neighbourhood complained about unsightly building materials all over my yard. There are two bins on the lawn and a small pile of wood under the tree. So he took pictures and will send me recommendations.

I am quite upset. Didn’t think I would be. I am pretty sure who it is that complained. And they are going to sell their house so probably want the neighbourhood to look nice so they get more for their house. We do live behind a jail and that brings the price down. Good if you are buying. Not so good if you are selling. But if it isn’t her then someone who is nice to my face is complaining about me behind my back.

Argg. I don’t like it.

And I have been waiting for 3 months for my heat pump to get installed and then we were to get reassessed for the Energy Rebates and we missed the deadline by 3 days. I still have the reassessment date booked but everyone I talked to said they will deny it.

So I feel like an idiot that I didn’t know the date and have it in my daytimer. I was leaving it up to someone else to manage. Is this another expensive lesson for me to learn that I have to rely on myself?

I hope not. I would love to be taken care of so that I could just relax and enjoy life. Owning a business is not what it’s cracked up to be. Sure we have flexibility in when we work. But not really. When someone is sick we have to work anyway or get one of us to work double shifts. And we haven’t had a nice holiday around Christmas for 5 years. Because Christmas is our busiest time of year.

And the good things are that my husband has the taxes complete ahead of the deadline this year. (way to go Dave!)

And we have two lovely and challenging foster children living with us.

Sienna is graduating this month.

I am in a Seminar with Sienna, An Invented Life: My Life My Design
So we get to spend Monday nights and Thursday nights together. And she gets to use the seminar to create her future. Me too.
I am using the seminar to create my future.

And next time I write it will be my wish list. Kind of like my bucket list with sparkles.
I found myself incredibly busy with the two kids and have not written anything in my blog.

I also noticed that because my life wasn’t the shining example I wanted it to be I didn’t want to share.
And here I am sharing anyway.

We are having a birthday party/housewarming on July 3rd which is a Saturday. It will be a potluck extravaganza. We are having a magician. And possibly two very talented lady singers. If they are available.

And the yard should be getting there. And looking fabulous. Maybe a deck for Sienna’s bedroom? Some fences for privacy.

Till next time.
Dar Archibald
June 8th, 2010

Time flies.

Filed under: Life — March 12, 2010 @ 10:52 pm Edit This

So I got what I wanted . . . almost. We renovated our home to be Foster Parents to infants withdrawing from drugs after being born. But then what we got were two lovely little toddlers. Well the house isn’t quite set up for that, but we managed. And now they are gone and a new little girl is here. Seems like I will never be in the “know”. Always having to find out for myself who these little people are and just what they are capable of.

I love the challenge. And this is what it feels like to accomplish an intended goal. Pretty cool. A few years ago I would have told you that it was just a dream to have a renovated home and little kids in my life. But somehow, using every skill I have acquired over the years and a great leap of faith, it has all occurred.

Now to get the house finished. We were a little short on money near the end so we haven’t gotten the shelves up yet. Do you know how important shelves are? Well if you don’t have them, the things in boxes tend to stay in boxes. The next time I write on here I hope it is to say that all the shelves are up.

Dar
March 2010

More Blessings!

Filed under: Life — December 30, 2009 @ 2:03 pm Edit This

We went to pick up the mattresses and we got sheets and comforters too! Batman! So cool.
What I am present to as the year ends is how blessed we are. I am especially blessed because I have been taught so much.
With MoneyMinding, Landmark Education, Matrix Energetics, Geotran, La Leche League and so much more I find making decisions and choices are a lot easier than before. Not that difficulties still don’t arise but with knowledge they are much easier to face.

Wishing all of you a wonderful 2010!

Getting to the Goal. . . .

Filed under: Life — December 29, 2009 @ 1:43 pm Edit This

We are going to pick up the mattresses right now. The perfect ones at the perfect time. Now what else is on my wish list? Dave cleared out two rooms and moved all the furniture. And Justy helped a little too.

Now we can be ready for our parties. Celebrations of our lives. What ever way they turn out is the goal for this year. Life is the way it is.

Who are you going to be in it this year?

The end of 2009. Why are we glad to see it go?

Filed under: Life — December 28, 2009 @ 12:07 am Edit This

Here we are at the end of 2009. My family members have had all sorts of health issues. We renovated our house. Someone broke into one of our cars in the driveway. And tried to break into another. The economy has done a dance that has had many scrambling for safety. All in all it has been quite an eventful year.

I am looking forward to 2010. With our home opening up to Foster Children and completing the last things that need to be worked on. Of course we could just do the Zen of Home Renovations. I actually like that idea.

Take our time.

This year I am going to figure out how to use VictoriaFreeCycle and offer all of our stuff that we don’t want but still think is useful to other people. It is a system that I see really works in the world I want to live in. Why not give your stuff to someone else who needs it and then ask the Universe for what you need and see what comes.

I asked for bunk beds and my friend found them and delivered them too. For Free!!!!

Now we just need some mattresses. But what I really want is to go to the Foam Store and see what kind of a deal they can give us for the mattresses. We need three. One for the crib and two for the bunk beds.

So many things to plan. And I am relishing my time to myself. When I can just get up and go, anytime I want.

The good thing about being a full on parent this time is I know how it goes. Kind of anyway. I have never had the kids we will get. But I do understand the rhythm of it all. I am also looking forward to focusing more on our home. Now that it is big enough for us. We can have a big garden and eventually we will fence it all so we can let the dogs run and the kids will be safe in the yard.

Oh, the next thing on my wish list is some big swings. Really big. Probably three of them. Two for adults or bigger kids and one for a baby. We love to swing. And those seats they put on swings now are hip crushing. So maybe we will get wooden flat ones. Oh it just gives me goose bumps thinking about it.

Well, looking back at 2009 our family did very well. We managed two moves and living kind of outdoors for the last three months. And we were in pretty good spirits. And we are very thankful for all we have now.

Here is to a great 2010. Blessings to all,
Dar Archibald
2009

Transition

Filed under: Life — November 8, 2009 @ 11:39 am Edit This

In birthing the word transition usually means a time when we are moving from the body preparing for the birth of a baby to the actual event of having the baby travel the tunnel that has it arrive into the outside world. This transition event often comes with the knashing of teeth and words of strength we could say; sometimes tears and vomiting.
It is at this event that the world changes. The birthing parents become Mum & Dad. And join the world of parents that before that time they could only imagine what it was like.

Well at this point in time I feel like I am in transition. Not the birthing kind but that maybe true also. I have been tidying the house. Albeit a futile job as construction was still occuring and it feels like nesting.

All in preparation for a new way of life. With a home a size that accommodates us all and room for others to come and join us. I am scared and excited all at the same time.

The house is almost finished. There are a few more window boxes to go in and some closet organizers and a few walls to be finished. The office to be painted.

But really the bedrooms are almost done and there is hot and cold water and the bathroom sinks are all installed. The showers work but they don’t have doors on them yet. And the bathtubs work. Just a bar sink upstairs and a laundry room sink to go. And we are still waiting on our toilets from Home Depot. A great deal but a long wait. We have one old one still hooked up so that we can be civil and not pee in a bucket.

There is drywall dust on the newly painted walls because the shop vac spit out dust all over the upstairs. I am reluctant to wet the walls as it will make more of a mess. So I am planning on Swiffering them first and then vacuuming and then a damp rag on the walls. That should do the trick.

I am a little crabby, which fits with the stage I am in. I am looking forward to next month when this will all seem like it is in the past.

Thanks for following me on this journey. Sorry I wasn’t as talkative as I could have been. Journaling is fun but I didn’t take the time for it.

There has only been three nights where it was so cold in the tent that I had to sleep with a light blanket over my head to temper the cold air I was breathing in.

Mostly the tent has been nice and toasty warm. And I love my potty. (no civility in the camp)

Till next time,

Dar

A newly invented life and the ending of the project

Filed under: Life — October 4, 2009 @ 4:51 pm Edit This

Well we had our 8th anniversary on September 22 of this year. And I was quite sure that how it had been going recently wasn’t the way I wanted it to continue.

Now you can say that most of our behaviours were due to stress of moving, living in a tent, not having control over our environment, building a new house and not always agreeing on everything and more. But excuses are just excuses or validations some may say. And what I have found in life is that there is ALWAYS something going on that has you not be who you are.

So in the face of all this we reinvented our relationship. And it is so nice now. The magic that is available when I accept that something isn’t working and I declare it out loud. Not just to myself in my head gave us an opportunity to invent the relationship the way we wanted. And neither one of us is totally clear on what it looks like.
We also were at our Success Seminar with Landmark Education the day after our anniversary and the sharing that evening was pivotal. One fellow was sharing about how people can’t tell him what to do. And how he gets when they try. And how he relates to his wife and the impact that has and Dave and I got to discuss what we had heard from our own points of view and that was really helpful.

When I say it is magical I really mean it. Because other than declaring that is wasn’t working the way it was, I can’t really say that we DID anything different. It is just really nice now.

So that is what has been happening in my relationship. And the physical space we are in is interesting. I am back at my parents house with all my people. There are 6 of us in total and sometimes my son’s girlfriend has the little boys she Nanny’s over aswell.

And we have added two dogs to the one that is already here and that has been interesting to say the least.

Money is an issue when you are building and as we are coming to the end I can see the money may not make it so we are looking at options and what would be best for us.

This throwing your hat over the wall to get something started is probably the only way I could have done it. I don’t think I could have done a little phase here and a little phase there. And in the end, doing it that way would have cost a whole lot more.

So if you want to see some pictures, you will have to request them. Or if you are my friend on Facebook you can see for yourself.

This week they redid the driveway. So now I can’t pull right up to the house. Which I knew would be happening anyway. But the change is pretty amazing and it isn’t finished and who knows what it will look like when finally done. So that is the thing that has me want to go to sleep this week. Sometimes is it fun and sometimes I just want to sleep until it is all over. But really . . . I don’t want to miss a thing. No matter how uncomfortable it is to see.

Bye for now,

Dar

As I spread the Peanut Butter on my PB & Honey Toast a thought came to me.

Filed under: Life — August 1, 2009 @ 2:27 pm Edit This

What is life all about anyway? Well specifically, what is it all about for me?

My friend Heather, who I have know since grade one, came to visit this morning. And we had a nice time. Just chatting. Not about anything in particular. I was sharing with her about the plans for the house. And I was getting excited agian.

I haven’t been sleeping well lately. It may just be the heat but I doubt it. Anyway, I had a nap. And when I got up I made myself some toast and had a thought. What is life about anyway.

I really love food. And if my life never had any good food in it I would be less happy.

My life is about conversations with friends and family.

My life is about being in nature. At least these are the things that I say. But really, if you looked at my life. You would see me sitting on the computer, doing my banking, answering emails, talking on the phone and watching movies.

So where is the disconnect?

This is my inquiry as I enter the Landmark Forum next weekend. My goal is to reconnect with my heart and what truly moves me.

That’s it for now,

Dar

Waiting is the hardest part . . .

Filed under: Life — July 27, 2009 @ 5:02 pm Edit This

So here we are, it is July 27th. We have been in the rental house since June 23. When we thought construction would begin shortly thereafter. And at this point we still don’t have a building permit.

Dave and I went to the house under construction yesterday to take the flooring up so that it is closer to being ready. We have arranged to stay at my parents house while the construction gets underway. We thought it would have happened by now. Even my Construction crew thought things would be underway by now. Saanich laid off all but 2 inspectors. I guess they thought they thought there would be a slow down in construction in Saanich but that hasn’t happened here at all.

So we do what we can and wait patiently. I may go into the Municipal Hall and find out where we are at and when we can expect to get going.

Now I can focus on MoneyMinding and educating people about how to manage their everyday spending.

And I will be reviewing the Landmark Forum the first week of August.

So that will keep me busy. So maybe I will sleep better.

Til then,

Dar

After all that . . .things are underway. . .

Filed under: Life — July 15, 2009 @ 3:19 pm Edit This

Tomorrow morning the Engineer is coming and the septic guy to check everything out and to give us the go ahead. We have had many set backs. First with the financing (4 weeks behind to begin with) and then with the Building Permit. Come on Saanich, Langford is winning on those.

And all things are underway. We have done what we could while we were waiting. We spoke to our Cabinet and Countertop guy and went and did our research and picked some colours and surface types. Our budget is $60K less than we originally planned so we are having to cut some corners but not on things that will be permanent. We will reuse many things and we will have a few focus items but it will look expensive without being expensive.

I haven’t written in my blog because I didn’t have any good news. That is probably not the way to go with a blog. I could be sharing with you all of the experiences and then you would have access to what I generated to get through all the hard parts.

If you were standing on my shoulder, what you would have seen me do was cry. Pray. Provide service. Be available to provide more service. Enjoy my birthday week. Have great conversations. And finally accept what is so. That the project won’t be done before the 23rd of August. I ask for miracles. And sometimes I even expect them. This is one of those times where I have to look at what I really want.

What I really want is a lovely, welcoming, home that will be used as a gathering place for all in our family and guests. I want it to be safe and healthy and I really don’t want them to rush. So just because we are only in this rental until the 23rd of August doesn’t mean that I am going to rush. We will figure out another place. If we can’t move partially home. Which is what I would like. I think. I may want to just put some stuff at home and still stay away until it is mostly complete.

Dave is wondering if it would be worth it to hire someone at $9/hr so that he can come and work on the house to save us $25-$35/hr.

It may be an opportunity for Sienna to gather up a lot of extra money for herself.

I am managing the financial side of operations. I am only a bit nervous about that. I know money needs to be spent, but I don’t like spending it when I am wondering if I may need it for something else. I will be getting a detailed budget this week sometime and that will put my mind at ease. Or at least that is what I am expecting.

I was walking around the rental house today and for the first time since I moved here I felt like I was at home. I guess as they say it takes about 30 days for anything to become a habit. The one thing I miss the most is the family dinner table. We left it at the other house because there just isn’t any room here for it.

I am content. And excited about the future.

Thanks for reading my blog. Until next time.

Dar
Go to my Facebook Site to see the pictures. You may have to request to be my friend first but I won’t bite. Dar’s Facebook

An update - It looks like it will really happen.

Filed under: Life, Passion — May 3, 2009 @ 1:22 am Edit This

I am suspending my doubt and my fears and my concerns. They don’t even seem to be present for me right now. I have been praying lots. Actually someone sent me something on Facebook about putting things in a file that is labels SFGTD. And what is means is that when I have things in my life that are a concern for me, I can file it under Stuff For God To Do. And forget about it. He will get to it in his time. That has seemed to work in my life.
The future we are creating is a home that is a gathering place. A large enough home where all who live here have their own space.We have most of our papers in to apply to be foster parents.

And today, Nino was here and we talked about a time-line. We want a few miracles here. We are moving out on May 23 and moving back home on Aug 23. So in three months we will have a home that we have all dreamt about for a long time. And what is great about that is there will be space for foster children too.

We don’t know who will need help but we are making space for an infant and a sibling. Somehow that is what I have sensed will be coming. It is a little bit like guessing the sex of your unborn child. Accept we really don’t know what we will be getting.

And thank goodness for the Money Merge Account. We will be able to finance the renovation and have it paid off in 14.8 years. And sooner if we increase our income. And it will go up and the program doesn’t know it yet.

Life is so exciting!!!

May 2, 2009

Update on the Home Design

Filed under: Life, Passion — May 2, 2009 @ 11:29 pm Edit This


Dave and I have a “getting larger all the time” family. And we like it that way. And lately it has been occurring to us like we are busting out at the seams. So we choose to renovate our home. We looked at many homes. And if I had found one that would have worked, we may have moved. But we didn’t, so we hired a Draftsman who recommended a Site Planner and we spoke with our friend who is a Contractor. And got the ball rolling.

Actually it wouldn’t be as far along as it is now if Nino from Roma Builders hadn’t spoke to me in Walmart about our plans. (thank you Nino).

I also have a friend who happens to live next door and is married to a Construction Magician (also my friend) and she loves to design things. So she is off to her house with a copy of our plans and is out to design the home of our dreams.This is a difficult process. I have dreams. See myself walking around in my new home and then I have to convey what I want to someone else in a way that they understand and turn it into the plans that will eventually become my reality. And there are bumps along the way.Good thing I am in a Seminar right now about Being Effective and Living Life with Velocity. It keeps me going and I love my supportive group that listens for whatever news I have to share about my successes or my failures.

See Landmark Education for a Seminar in your area.

See Mapping Your Money a site to help you get to where you want to go.

This is the first time in my life (at least that I can remember) when I have been so focused. A lot of my time is spent in communication with our Team on the Speaker Services group for a Conference that is coming up in May. I haven’t even begun to think of when we will move out of the house to get it all done. I am asking for a few miracles here. Next post will give the update on what is happening.

Enjoy your day and remember whoever you are dealing with, is somebody’s kid. See if that gives you a different perspective on life.

April 09, 2009

A Random Valentine’s Day

Filed under: Life, Relationships — February 14, 2009 @ 11:39 pm Edit This

My experience of today has been different. Earlier in the week when people were asking Dave and I if we had anything special planned I said that we had done lots of special stuff already and weren’t planning anything.

And in the back of my mind I did have expectations. And they showed up when I noticed that I was just not happy. I wasn’t really unhappy. I noticed that I was waiting for something. Then I looked. What was I waiting for? I was waiting for my Bernard Callebaut box of chocolates that Dave picks out special, just for me. And some special attention.

When Dave finally was done with hockey this morning and when I had my shower and slathered my new moisturizers on we hung out in our room and we both fell asleep.

So I can say that how I spent most of my Valentine’s Day was asleep in bed with my special guy. It wasn’t something I expected. And it is a challenge to accept what is happening and to NOT WANT something else. I wondered to myself if I could be happy with this. And the answer was yes. If I let go of how it should look and love the fact that my husband is at home with me and our kids then I can be totally satisfied with that.

What else do I need to be happy? Nothing. And how to I avoid an upset in the future? I communicate what is going on for me.

When I let Dave know that I actually had secret expectations he said that he had wanted to do something special but after I said to friends that we weren’t doing anything, he thought that meant that he SHOULDN’T do anything special. So I let him in on the girl speak of it all. And I told him that this is one of those times when he shouldn’t listen to me.

Life is so grand. I can’t wait for tomorrow.

February 14th, 2009

The year all the secrets escaped.

Filed under: Life, Passion, Relationships — February 2, 2009 @ 12:07 am Edit This

Well I wonder how many secrets we can let out this year. Imagine if we related to secrets as we do to wild animals in captivity. That they don’t belong there. Now don’t get me wrong, there are some secrets that I may not want to know. But isn’t the very nature of secrets something that you are hiding?

Maybe I need to reframe my context for secrets. I remember Werner telling us to let it out. Holding them in is killing us. He was refering to our emotions. But it could be the same for secrets.

Truly I am just looking for a response from someone. Here I sit realizing that I really do want to control how and when things happen. So I can be prepared for it. Is that Fear? Sounds a bit like I am afraid of what might possibly happen. Isn’t that were all fear comes from. What if I were to not control how and when things happened. What if I came from a place of love, that all would be well. Sounds a bit airy fairy but I will try it this week and let you know how it goes.

An Uncommon Conversation - friends can always be friends.

Filed under: Life, Relationships — January 30, 2009 @ 11:49 pm Edit This

So after a day of great conversation I feel spent. Not a common conversation. A conversation where the truth was told at every phase of it. And what I am present to is the GIFT that is was. Can we all be so connected? Or does it really only happen a few times in our lives.

We hadn’t seen each other in almost 24 years. And yet when we sat down together it was like no time had past and a lifetime had past. We were definitely older. More mature. And we both have had many life experiences to share with each other. This conversation may not have been possible 24 years ago. I know I was not as receptive to it then. Years ago I knew how things “should” be. I knew what I wanted (or so I thought). And my life turned out the way it did. I wonder if it was meant to be that way.
We talked about Dads and Cads. What a great distinction. And who created girls to be attracted to Cads. Was that a colossal joke?
It is beautiful when we can have conversations that weren’t terribly deep. We weren’t solving the worlds problems. Not talking about important stuff like world politics, although we may have touched on the subject. It was a conversation that we didn’t want to end. I think we could have talked for days. And we had as much time as we had and we knew it. For once in my life I was present to the gift WHILE it was happening. You may not think this is anything miraculous. But for me . . . to not already be thinking of how we can make this happen again and truly being IN the conversation. That was a miracle.

Thank you Bruce, for being my special friend. And for allowing yourself to be, yes, just to be, here with me. I so enjoyed our day.

Once a Friend, Always a Friend

Filed under: Life, Relationships — January 28, 2009 @ 3:25 pm Edit This

I had this conversation with my husband last night and this morning. That I relate to people like they are my friends if I have EVER been friends with them. And he said, “Not everyone relates to people like that!”

It really never occured to me. I just think that all people are my friends. I have a much nicer life that way. When I meet people, I automatically think they are my friends. Especially if they are friends of people I already know.

I guess I am different that way. I almost seem a little frozen by the realization. Like a big WHAT!?!.

So in terms of me hiring people to work on the house. Who do I pick but my friends. Now are they the best ones for the job? Not neccesarily. I have to go and take a look at the work they have done. And then choose someone that is also going to give me a good deal. People do need to make a fair wage. And I am willing to pay what they are worth. That doesn’t mean I can afford to pay them what they are worth.

I am hoping that good karma can go a long way here. Can I actually get all that I want and have it work for the people doing the work; that they have the experience of being valued, and that I have the experience of getting a great deal?

Yup.

I think that can happen. Now to keep having those conversations and see what we can manifest here.

Next step . . . still moving

Filed under: Life — January 9, 2009 @ 11:05 pm Edit This

Well this morning I did something I hadn’t planned on doing. I watched clips about Gaza on UTube. I cried. Why do people have to hurt each other so? Why can’t we really BE for each others success. Why is it the way it is? Then I had the opportunity to see things from many points of view. I watched about rapes in South Africa. And someone actually interviewed the rapists. I got to see that they believed that what they were doing would make their chances of winning at war greater. They are very superstitious and they use a magic powder and raping a woman makes things work better.

It is still an objectification of another human being. But this thing doesn’t only happen in South Africa. There are people that you or I will stand beside in the store who beats their wife, who tortures their children. All for a good reason. All in the interest of something.

To interupt this conversation. . . to instill a bit of heart into the point of view. . . Is it possible? Do they want it any other way?

I cried this morning. For the people of the world that don’t sleep feeling safe. That don’t get hugs and kisses everyday from people who love them. For those that aren’t heard.

What good is it making sure the people of the world are fed when we kill them. Well fed dead people. That is not what I am after. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what I can do. All I know is that the other night I sat in a room with a bunch of people who have given themselves to the world to be of service. To make a difference. And what I was present to was love. We love each other. Even if we irritate each other. Love is still present. And when I let myself be in the experience of the quantity of love present . . . it is almost overwhelming. I like it. And I have not been able to stay in the presence of love for any quantity of time. It takes intention. There is a way to live that is by default or there is the life that you intend. Designing your life, like I think I am designing my life is a creative act. Even if it never becomes real in the world, living into the future that I am designing has me live a certain way. I am intending a world where we all value each other.
Maybe that is all I need to say. Is there anything else I could say that would make a difference?

A world that works for everyone. Each and every, valued and known.

If you look . . . you can see miracles all around

Filed under: Life — December 22, 2008 @ 11:47 pm Edit This

Today is three days before Christmas 2008. We are having our first white Christmas. At least since I have been an adult. This if the first white Christmas I can ever remember.

Cynthia and I have completed our 3 day mandatory Foster Parent Training and we clearly know what is required of us as Foster Parents. Now to get Dave and Justin to take the training too. And we also need to send in all of our Criminal Record Checks. All adults that will be in contact with any ministry children must have one.

So that ball is rolling. And then the other issue is space. So we are renovating our house. Enough room for all of us and for as many as may need us.

That is where the miracles are happening. I met my neighbours husband at Halloween and he does rock and stone work. He showed me some of his work and it is really nice. So I want him to do the stone wall outside and the custom shower in our room. And possibly the entrance if we get it done in stone too.

And I have another friend who is a finishing carpenter. He has purchased a large parcel of land and needs to develop it and so he wont be able to manage my renovation at this time so knowing that had me ask other people. Then I bumped into my girlfriends husband in Walmart and he told me that he could have his guys do the work and he would oversee the job at a fraction of the price. So that means I may be able to get all of what I want. And then I talked to my neighbour who has done work on my house before and is, at the moment, renovating the house next door to his that he just purchased. He said he was thinking of quitting his job. And I said, “Oh, isnt that perfect timing.”

So I am just so thrilled that life is lining up for us. We are awaiting the finances getting completed and then we will be able to go ahead and finalize the team that will be building the renovation. I am excited to have people that I know working on our house. It makes it feel like a community project. I dont know how it will all work out. All I know is that I keep taking one step and then another and gradually it is all coming together.

Thats it for today

11:46 pm, Monday night

Oh my . . . How Time Flies

Filed under: Life — December 13, 2008 @ 10:31 pm Edit This

I went to my second mandatory class for Foster Parenting today. I can see my promise being developed in my mind. How will I make a difference with people? I will help them to pay off their homes more quickly than they thought possible, which will make them happier people. And if those people happen to be parents then their happiness will definitely make a difference for those kids. And for those kids that their parents aren’t doing so well, our family will bridge the gap and create a loving, accepting environment for them to learn healthy attachments in. And to fully express who they are in the world.

And I will also provide Relationship Coaching to people who would like to create what they want in their lives together. To make possible the fulfilment of their dreams.

And I will watch a world transform before my very eyes. A world where people watch out for each other. Where we will look after each others children. Where there is always someone ready and waiting to listen to all you have to say.

Where we make music together. And sing.

That’s the the future I am creating today.

If you would like my assistance with having what you want in life. Send me an email or call me at:

manifestlife.ca@gmail.com

or

250-889-2083 PST

When is enough, enough? What about a World that Works for All?

Filed under: Life, Passion, Relationships — November 26, 2008 @ 4:50 pm Edit This

Today I am reading about more bailouts and the unfair way that candidates for the bailouts are being chosen.

What if we could have a world that worked for everyone? What if it wasn’t just that the rich looked after each other and the poor got left out. The poor in the country I live in, Canada, are very resourceful. There was a law passed that they could put up tents because the housing wasn’t available for them. And although it has caused its own set of problems the tent users DO look after each other.

What if we all lived like that? What if we were all on the lookout for our fellow human beings? Is it possible or will there always be people who take advantage of whatever is offered? People who go to pot luck dinners or people to attend banquets frequently do learn that you can’t take a lot of stuff the first time. You wait until everyone has had something and then you can come back for more if there is any.

There must be a way for us to be self governing. Clearly absolving ourselves of all responsibility is not working. When we can blame it on someone else we usually will. It takes a remarkable person to be wholly responsible for themselves. And an even more remarkable person who is responsible for more than themselves.

When I went to high school there was an accident that happened on a Ski Trip. And the effect it had on our community was felt by all. I don’t know if an accident HAS to happen to have people pull together and I hope it can happen without one.

But Hope is not enough. We all need to have the intention of a World that Works for Everyone. That includes those people that you may not like. Even they get to have the world work for them. How do we measure it? How will we know that it has arrived?

Surely all the bailouts are not getting us any closer to the goal.

First off, we need to declare that it is what we want. And I am declaring it here. I want a World that Works for Everyone. That means I can give as much as I can and that I also have what I need.

Those are my thoughts for today. Until next time.

Dar Archibald