My experience of today has been different. Earlier in the week when people were asking Dave and I if we had anything special planned I said that we had done lots of special stuff already and weren’t planning anything.
And in the back of my mind I did have expectations. And they showed up when I noticed that I was just not happy. I wasn’t really unhappy. I noticed that I was waiting for something. Then I looked. What was I waiting for? I was waiting for my Bernard Callebaut box of chocolates that Dave picks out special, just for me. And some special attention.
When Dave finally was done with hockey this morning and when I had my shower and slathered my new moisturizers on we hung out in our room and we both fell asleep.
So I can say that how I spent most of my Valentine’s Day was asleep in bed with my special guy. It wasn’t something I expected. And it is a challenge to accept what is happening and to NOT WANT something else. I wondered to myself if I could be happy with this. And the answer was yes. If I let go of how it should look and love the fact that my husband is at home with me and our kids then I can be totally satisfied with that.
What else do I need to be happy? Nothing. And how to I avoid an upset in the future? I communicate what is going on for me.
When I let Dave know that I actually had secret expectations he said that he had wanted to do something special but after I said to friends that we weren’t doing anything, he thought that meant that he SHOULDN’T do anything special. So I let him in on the girl speak of it all. And I told him that this is one of those times when he shouldn’t listen to me.
Life is so grand. I can’t wait for tomorrow.
February 14th, 2009