Friday, May 13, 2011

Have you Ever been rejected or feared being told NO?

I am thinking about my fear of asking for things.  And my hesitation to ask for things.  Here is an example of how ingrained this thought that I have that I "shouldn't" ask.

One day many years ago, I was having a La Leche League meeting in my home.  For those of you that don't know what that is it is a breastfeeding support group.

I was a young Mum probably 20 years old at the time.  And I had a bunch of Mum's and their babies and children in my home.  I was on a limited budget and I had one banana on my counter that I was "saving" for later.

One of the Mum's just walked up to my banana.  Talked to her child and said something like, "Do you want a banana?"  And proceeded to take my banana and give it to her child.

Now, to some people this wouldn't be a big deal.  But to me it was the utmost in breaking a rule.  The rule that I had that you daren't ask for anything and you for sure never just take anything from anyones home.  Even if you are starving.

So over the years I have gotten braver and have asked for things when I needed them.  But that fear of being told no is always looming in the background.

How could she just take my banana?  Do other people just do that?  Was she totally unaware of my financial situation?

Seeing this from my 43 year old perspective is interesting.  I now wonder why I had that rule. And this person obviously didn't have it.

What makes these rules so ingrained in our lives that we don't notice them until they are broken?

What rules have you noticed that you MUST keep?

Do  you have any rules like that?

May 2011

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