Friday, December 28, 2012

What is it with Girls?

My project for life is to have Sexual Energy Acknowledged, Honoured and Celebrated on the planet by  2022.  I will be 65 that year.

Since having invented this future many things have come to my attention.  Namely how mean the Female Gender is to one another.  I am reminded of this on a daily basis as I read blog comments and do research.

There is a quote from a drawing in my cousin's book I remember reading when I was young.

It said,

Yes there is a devil,
Of that there is no doubt,
But trying to get in us,
Or trying to get out.

Where does all this cruelness come from?  Is in in us already?  Or does it get cultivated there and if it does, how does that happen?

Female Genital Mutilation is often done to girls by the women in their community.

I thought I would need to direct my attention to the men on the planet.  If I removed the issues that men bring such as wife beating etc. then the women would be safe. But my thoughts were misguided.  Where I really need to put my attention is on the objectification of anything, be it animals, woman, men, children, cultures, races and/or points of view.

Some women who wear the burqa are sad for the American women.  Why are we (North Americans) the ones who show everything and cover our eyes (with sunglasses for instance)?

Why is it that the media allows women to be seen on escort sites as long as they don't show their eyes?  How is this helpful?  Prostitution happens.  And then we regulate it to make the women more like objects?

Does it all start with how we raise or children?  Is it this fear that has us question each other?  Mothers are frequently bashing each others choices as we raise our children. There are so many platforms one can stand on.  Anti-abortion.  Anti-circumcision.  Anti-vaccination. Anti-Trafficing (children being sold into slavery) Pro-Life. Pro-Gender Equality. Gay Liberation. Women's Liberation.  The list goes on forever.  I am not saying that there isn't a need for people to stand up for what they believe in. I am just saying that allowing people to have their opinions even if it differs from your own is a difficult, yet valuable thing.

Why do we continue to question the motivations of each other?  As I think I learned from reading Gary Zucav's books we often criticize that which we inhabit within ourselves. Here is what was recently posted on the blog of quotes I AM, WE ARE

"If you are unconscious of an aspect of yourself; if it operates outside your field of awareness, that aspect has power over you.

 I have come to the conclusion that until I find and heal the fears in me that I do not know about, and those that I do know about, I will not be able to contribute much that will not be part of the many challenges we face – such as brutality, poverty, drug abuse, child abuse, abuse of the environment, and abuse of women, to name a few.

 Eventually you will come to understand that love heals everything, and love is all there is."

 I am afraid of people who point fingers.  I am aware that those who are pointing are often more the problem that the people they are pointing the fingers at.

So on this journey of having my project be fulfilled in time.  I am often confronted by things I did not expect.

When I started I figured it would be simple.  Men would look after women.  There would be no more rape.  And there would be no little girls who grow up thinking that sexual touching is a normal day to day occurrence.  I thought the problem was men.

I thought that if I became a foster parent and did my part to make a difference with little boys, then I would make a small dent in this large problem.

But I think that it is far more invasive than I know.  And I must say, I am afraid to find out the extent of it.

And as I sit here I am reading the most recent news of a woman who was gang raped while riding the bus with her male companion who was also beaten and thrown from the bus.   She died.  The outpour of support from both men and women is heart warming.  Why does it take such travesties to create this kind of outpour?

I do not know the answer and I am still wondering how this project of mine will come to fruition.

Are you with me on this one?

Thursday, December 6, 2012

How will Relationships Look in the Future?

I once went to Flocks, the bird shop.  They hand raise little birds and know everything you would want or need to know about birds.  I didn't own a bird but they sold the hay and pellets I needed for my guinea pig.

One day I got into a conversation with one of the fellows there.  I had just watched the Pebble and the Penguin movie and was struck by the idea of choosing a mate for life. In the movie the penguin gives a stone to another penguin to signify that they are bonded for life.  And as we spoke about it he said to me, "Well yes, they do mate for life.  But they also have intimate relations with other birds."  I was shocked and interested.

One thing I have found difficult to understand about myself is my love for people.  And what seemed to be a conflicting desire.

I find the way that society views relationships is one person committed to another person.  But in reality.  It is often not that way.

Can any one person totally fill another's needs?  Who would want that?  This isn't to say that committed couples are bound to have affairs at one point in their relationship because these needs for variety must be met sexually.  Sometimes these needs can be fulfilled mentally.  And I am reading a book called Opening Up.  And there are examples of many different relationships.

A V.  A man with 2 women or a woman with 2 men.  Or a W.  2 men with 3 women or 2 women with 3 men.  So many different combinations and they are all relationships.  Permanent or Temporary.  They can all work.

Here is another way to look at it.  A friend of mine told me of her homestay person who was from Japan.  And what she said about relationships is actually very male oriented but could be taken from either gender.  She said, Men get married.  That's like rice.  You have it everyday.  You are happy with it.  But sometimes.  Men like noodles.  It doesn't mean they don't like rice anymore.  Or that they don't want rice anymore.  Just means they like some noodles sometimes.  And that makes sense.  Doesn't it.

Problem is, in society, there are no role models for this kind of behaviour.  The tabloids are full of "She was caught cheating."  "He was seen with a younger woman" types of stories.  What if we could just be with who we wanted to be with.  That it didn't mean that we no longer loved our primary partner.  That love isn't finite.  It is abundant.  And the more you share it the more you have.

Now how to we navigate these waters?  That is something to ponder.

Until next time

December 5th, 2012