Ever felt a need to blog? I am feeling compelled to blog at this time. I need to get my thoughts down on paper is the old saying but of course blogging has little to do with paper nowadays.
This was written last year in July. And I didn’t finish it so now I get to see if from the future that has already occurred. Here is what I wrote then -
Still. Delays, more money, more debt. A bright future. Wondering will it ever be done. Illnesses in the family. Concerns.
A new career. Can I do it? Will I have all the help I need? I don’t even have all the equipment for it.
How will we manage?
Last night I did a bit of an assessment of the situation. I got all of the “what we owe” down on paper. And realized that we are going to be fine. But there is a month or two that it will be a little tight.
People may have to wait to be paid. I guess they are used to it in this area of life. I never understood it. But now I do. They are happy to do the work for you. Even if you don’t have the money, because they know that I will pay them and to them it must be like money in the bank.
I put this post on the back burner. And never posted it. I am through most of it now and I was correct in my calculations that we will be fine. We have been, are and always will be fine.
A baby is on the way. Outside work is being done this week. Costing more money, but it is all there. I never really thought is would be, and I guess I didn’t think it wouldn’t be either. I think I believe that I shouldn’t really know I will be OK. I should think like the masses and worry about it. And one day I noticed something. That the majority of the time. I am not going in the direction of everyone else. I am driving by a huge line-up of people going the other way.
And so is life. I just can’t imagine going to school, to be trained, to do the same thing everyday. To be in the same place. To be with the same people. And to be quite sure that I would be there for at least 10 to 15 years.
I know other people do it all the time. And possibly if I found something that totally lit me up I would be willing to do it. I am willing to do a lot. I have been to a huge conference on my own dime for 4 years. Assisting in putting on a conference that we were at work on all year. And not getting paid for it. So I know that about myself. Totally capable and willing to go the extra mile, when the value is there for me.
How many other people take a minute or two, to really think about their future. The way that is will inevitably go and the way they actually want it to go.
I am in the inquiry of it now. In 5 years what will I be doing? I had a plan. And then it turned out the way it did. Not quite following the plan. So will it continue to go that way? How does one interrupt the inevitable?
Wait and see.
August 18, 2010